My Inner self (MAN)

In Hindi we often use this word- Man for inner-self. We use in different meanings, such as wish & desire to do some thing, to expect or hope for future and for inner-self. We are aquainted with three words about a human-being. First-Body, second- soul and third- Man. Actually I don't find any subsitute for Man in English. Today I want to express my feeling about my that inner-self.
I do some thing with whole-heartedly. In other words with full devotion or will. Such work always gives good result. But sometime my inner-self is divided. I become doubtful, wether to do it or not. In that situation my action's results also become doubtful. In life such situation comes several times. And on such occasions, fruits of my actions are usually negative.
Our saints say that you can control your inner-self. It is true also, but for an ordinary person like me it is difficult. We are unaware of future. One step can lead you towards failure and another can lead you towards success. On such circumstances my inner-self is always divided. But I dicovered one solution for such situations. I start praying vigorously, If I am able to do it with intensity, results turn favourable.
Further I am going to say something, which may appear ridiculous to others. To strengthen inner-self I try to practice on Concentration. Though it is difficult for a trivial person like me, but I try. If I would have met Sad-Guru, like Sainath, I must have solved my problem. But alas, in this matter I am an orphan. There is a little time left for me to get some success in this field. Death is approaching me. But I pray to Lord Sai to give me some success in this direction. After all I am His daughter.
--Shailbala Misra.