Sleep / Dreams.

I heard that sound sleep is good for health. Though I believe in its truth, but I didn't ever have such experience. For me sleep means dreams and dreams alone. The subjects of my dreams are numerous and always scattered. Some times they are related to major incidents of my life. Some times about persons, who hurt me or who loved me. For the last some years I regularly see Ramnivas, the most loved building, where I spent my whole childhood, adolcent age and after marriage I spent all major vacations there with my kids. Not only this I saw my dear uncles and other relatives around me in Ramnivas.
One of my close friends, Asha Banerji, expired un-timely due to cancer, often occurs in my dreams. My mother is no more since eleven years, I see her regularly in my dreams. My father expired in May, 1991, but he occurs in my dreams very frquently. There is no doubt that I must have taken bliss of sound sleep in my childhood, but I don't remember my any sleep without dreams for so many years. At this juncture of age I am accustomed to this reality.
I pray to my Sainath, if this is destined for me , please You come in my dreams. If it is not possible for You to appear in my dreams, please show me some temples or another Deities in dreams. At last if You answer my prayer, it is alright, if not, let me be contented with whatever you spared for my destiny.

Hope For Future.

I always remained perturbed to think that there no hope for India's betterment. We are facing so many problems on national level. Such as corruption, policitians without morals, illeteracy, poverty, population, environmetal ignorance and communalism etc. In my opinion the root cause of all this problem is corruption and corrupt politicians and burocracy. I have deep information about my department that many persons got government job through corrupt sources. Many persons, who didn't give bribe to greedy persons, died without getting justice to them. I have full faith in divine justice. But seeing is believing that many un-deserved persons got raised quite high through buttering their superios and politicians.

Then a ray of hope arised in my mind that persons working in private sector are working hard and they are at the same time are meritorious also. These days I see a new line persons, who are comtributing their labour in national progress. I observed that news-paper hawkers, milk- sellers, domestic maid and flower sellers are doing their job very sincerely even in heavy rains. They never demand holidays or vacations. They are poor, but so honest in their job. I feel bad to think that they are not getting proper wages in regard to their hard labour. They must be paid at least as much as they deserve. But how sad it is that they are being exploited by the so called by rich. I see there is a hope for the progress of our mother land not only by persons working in private sector, but by these hard-working persons, who are working, guiding by their own morality with out getting proper dues. Yes there is bright ray of hope for India by these persons, whose work we think trivial.

Hope for India.

I was desperate some years back to see our country's condition. Almost in all areas and fields I found corruption and fowl means. I was working in government department. I was wonder-struck to see success of some person by totally unfair means. I saw that governments servants gave more time in buttering politicians and their bosses. Corruption is engrossed in our system so deeply and honest persons are helpless. Some emplyees got justice after their death. As a teacher I am in a habit of pondering and thinking. I find the root cause of all problems of our mother land is corruption. We have all types of rules and regulations to remove imperfect conditions of India, but corruption nullifies their effect.

Visit To Pune--17.06.11 to 17.07.11

Visit to Pune; 17th. June to 16th. July, 2011

My Visit To Pune. 17.06.11 to 16.07.11.

Worldly Tortures.

I am 68 years old. I am a retired person from the post of the Principal of Govt. Inter College, M.P. All my kids are married and well settled in their lives. I along with my husband live at Indore, M.P. Now I want to live peacefully and happily like a detached person. And I do want to remember my Lord Sainath of Shirdi throughout the day & night. But it is not possible for me. I don't know how I detach myself from all worldly anxieties. Anxieties are so friendly to me that they takes away my sleep in the night. I want to murmer Sai's name on my lips all the time, but some or the other thoughts come in my mind and keep me away from my Nam-Jap. I do want to pray for every-one's welfare. I always pray for Nishkap Bhakti and Sadbuddhi. But I find myself into trap of some tension. I know that without the grace of Sainath, who is all in all for me, I can never be at peace. Plaese Sai bless me with peace and devotion in your Lotus Feet. I am ready for my final departure. Please hold my hands at that time. Please help me in remaning in this delusion that I am Your most favourite child/Beti.

Kids' Lisping.

I like kids. I enjoy their company. I can spend many hours with them. Their each & every activity, I like. How they show their innocent anger and how they react on your every sentence, all are very fascinating. I like their lisping. Their sentences echo all the time in my ears. I am talking about the kids from one year to six years old, who can't speak correctly and will try to speak all the time. They have wonderful capacity to express themselves. Whatever we elders spell, they immediately imitate. One thing more, you must not show that you are mocking them, otherwise they will be angry with you. I try my best to understand their expressions and ultimately I can guess their language a lot. I enjoy their lisping so much that I get amused to recollect their word or sentences in my lonely period.

The kids of this age always like to hear stories. I have to tell them a series of stories, but they never get tired. The stories can be in any language, they invariably give gestures that they understand it fully. You have to apologize, when you will get tired. The stories and as well as songs or rhymes are favorite activities for them. But you have to tell them by making it interesting. Actually you have to dance, make your various facial expressions and differently moving your hands etc. Then see their faces and have full satisfaction, which you will get no where. One said that you have to spend some time in a day with the kids under six. This will make your life lovable and lessen your age-old boredom.

Now a day all kids have many toys. When you get tired, you bring their toys. Now another many hours are going to be busy with their activities. They will call on their phones in a very real manner to all acquainted persons and friends. But you have to only watch them seriously doing these activities.

There is one trouble. That is if you are old like me, your activities will be limited. But with your wits you can enjoy the kids for hours together. All this I am writing on my personal experiences.

Random Reflections of Restless Ratiocinations: This Happened Last Year

Random Reflections of Restless Ratiocinations: This Happened Last Year

Corruption In India.

I was a teacher. I am retired from the post of a Principal of Higher Secondary School, as a Govt. employee in M.P. I am a student of History, which makes a person a perfect patriot. I am in a habit of pondering on all major problems of my nation. There are some major problems before us. These are:--Corruption, Population, Illiteracy. Sanitation & Pollution. Poverty is not a problem. I see no laborious person remains empty stoma ck. The disparity between rich & poor is widened amazingly. Our government insincerely tries to remove these enemies. They put a slogan : -- Garibee Hatao. See the fun of it that poverty is very much there, while poor are going to be abolished. All plans of controlling population run by Govt. are not at all successful. Provision for reservation for SC & ST in our Constitution was till 50 years of Independence. But only some sections of society are beneficiary. To eradicate illiteracy plans are numerous, but progress in this direction is little. Cleanliness is to be seen with the boundary walls of our houses, but outside we are habitual to throw our wastage. What I want to say that I try to go to the root cause of these problems, I find only Corruption. Corruption is rooted deep in our country in all walks of life. It starts from the top and runs through the lowest. Unless & until punishment is not severe, it can't be finished. Due to it honest persons directly suffer, while all sections of society, specially poor suffer most. If corruption is eradicated from our country, each problem will gradually be solved. Every plan of Govt. will be carried on successfully. I don't know how it be done, but I know the Draft made by Anna Hazare must be very effective in this direction. He himself is an honest person accompanied by several honest dignities. Only God knows that it is the reason he is getting such huge support from common man. He is bound to get success.

My Mother Tongue.

I heard the language, to which I call my mother- tongue since my first cry in this world. When I started going to school at the age of seven directly in class third, I found it difficult to speak standard Hindi. My mother-tongue used to take place of Khari-boli, Hindi unconciously. I didn't know the name of that Hindi. I used to call it Urdu, which was wrong. In school I tried to speak in Khari-boli, but I did mistakes in doing so. Whenever any of our relatives or cousins met during reccess in school or in public places, I used to talk to them in my mother-tongue and immediately I talked in Khari-boli on the other side to my school friends.
After marriage my in-laws used to speak Kannaugi dialect. Even today I feel difficulty in speaking correct Kannaugi. I always did and do mistakes in speaking Kannaugi and mingle both the dialects.
About fifty years have passed of my marriage, even today I think in my mother tongue. I frequently talk to Sainath in my mother tongue. I do every thing in this dialect. I pray, I talk, I complain, I thank and I show my gratitude to Lord in my mother-tongue. I don't leave a single opportunity in using my loved language. I always talk to my siblings on phone or personally only in my this original dialect. Though my husband started talking to me in Khari-boli of Hindi since first day of meeting, I couldn't be free from deep-rooted love for my mother-tongue. I never feel tired of using my dear Ganj-muradabadi, near Unnao, U.P. I love my mother-tongue.